Why Are People Mean?

Why Are People Mean?: 'Friggin jerk!' Cecily screamed at the man in the blue Volvo who swerved too close for comfort. Even though her two young sons were in the car, she raged on, 'What are you, a moron? Where did you learn to drive? I hope you rot.' Cecily wanted help controlling her reactions. She knew instinctively her temper was damaging to her children and contributed to her high blood pressure. When Cecily described her road rage to me, she described herself as being angry with the man in the Blue Volvo. 'Of course you were,' I validated, 'After all, the driver scared the heck out of you.' But then, I explained to Cecily how she acted out that anger by yelling. Cecily grew up in a family with lots of shouting and sometimes some hitting. Cecily naturally thought yelling and hitting WAS anger. I explained that from an emotion science standpoint, 'anger' referred only to the internal experience. When her parents yelled, shouted, said mean things or hit her, they were acting out their anger. This By Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW