Stand firm in your decisions

 The measure of your Integrity is to actually do what you say that you're going to do long after the mood that you said it , has passed . 

This brings me to a moment in my life that my daughter actually had to remind me of - She mentioned how I would often put-up with my Ex disrespecting me , by continuely running back to him whenever he'd call of come by to pick me up . And I must admit , yes I had done just that , always upset that he had shown me such little , if any real respect . He'd say he was too busy working or that he did not want to be in a committed relationship with me . This of course coming after he had asked me to be a FWB type of G/F . WHICH I of course at first considered his request and said well.... OK - however my good common sense soon stood up and tapped me on my brain and I imediately called him back and declined , but what I wasn't expecting  is the way in which he reacted - You see he started to make it seem as if I had left him out in the cold and had blocked him - when in truth he had done this to me , by trying to friend-zone me after our over 20 year live-in relationship that I was made to believe was a marriage - this is where the water started getting merky as I was left at home tending to his needs as my so called Husband - He apparently was taking applications for FWB elsewhere - well at least to me he must have been since He would also often tell me that if it weren't for our amazing intimate relationship he would have left me .... However it later became evident that he had in fact without admitting it to me personally , moved on to another outside communication to seek and get his needs met as he has begun to take on an almost resentful approach to dealing with me and not long after noticing these changes he imformed me that he would be moving to a city south of where we had been living together - This announcement while not really shocking to me did make me feel as if he infact had started a life without me- as he would then start to stay out late and when he did come home prior to his move out - we rarely spoke and the intimacy was beginning to be less of a pleasure and more of a suprise that he would even want to be intimate after basicly ignoring my existance and barracading himself in the back bedroom with the door shut from the time he'd arrive back home till the time he'd leave and go where-ever - 

Now what I did not know was that behind the sceenes he was organizing and working with others to actively block me from being able to have a more -gainful life verses living on the Federal benefits that I had from my labor and the my survivor benefits as I was and am considdered diabled - So in reality he was moving on with someone else and also trying to make a claim to funds that were in fact not even his but rather were mine - this is why he had to enlist the assistance of others to smear my good name and make it appear as if I did not deserve the funds that were mine - and so this is what I did not know at the time but was only recently made aware of . 

Fastforward to 2024 , where he has moved and I had to relocate as well . We now live a few miles from one another and our friendship is at best , cordial yet distant as he has a form of avoiding any true information as to what or who he spends his time with - As we hardly ever see one another yet he tells me that I am wrong for asking him to tell me the truth to who he has replaced me with - often leading to an argument from him about how he is a man of God , and that it's insulting to even ask him these things as he is I guess far above reproach ? 

Now mind you I have never gone all out and hid in any bushes or had to have my friends hover over his apartment to watch and report like he/or the mystery person has done now for over 2 years - to the point where it's become insulting to me as well , that he refuses to take accountability for all of the damages that the withholding of material facts pertaining to the funds that were stolen from me have caused as The quality of my life has been stagnant while I hear of vacations  purchases , gift's etc yet I have yet to receive NOT 1 penny from funds that were left for me while someone told lies claiming that I needed a power of attorney - and this POA failed to deliver to me the duty of being a POA and actually used that power to better facllitate a better quality of life for himself and for others - who he has yet to be able to come correct and look me in my eye and admit to what he felt was the only ethical ? action to take when it came to finding out that I had money on the table and he would not be  on the recieving end as he had already moved on from me , so he just organized and rallied his troops to they could collectively manage to re-rout my funds to accounts that he controled and intentionally hid from me , while also sharing with others the condition of my low-income housing compared to his nice fresh bachelor pad , which apparently was quite an amusing aspect to all of them who too had been sharing in funds that were not ever meant to be shared with any of them -

This is where I am today , and the reason why , With the help of my daughter in making me take a look at how I have not standing firm enough and just refusing to allow him back in to my life after all of the crap that he has put me through , while then attempting to then play the victim . And I am holding my self accountable for how I have let my weakness for this man to get the best of me and I have gone back time after time to a man who only views me as an option when I know damn well that I am much to valuable to allow any man to disrespect me in that manner - and so I am going to stand firm in my dicision to walk away from that which does not bring a sense of worth or of respect to the life that I have been called to persue - and with that being said I am looking forward to seeing exactly what The most high God has for me - knowing that HE would never just let me continue to be devalued and mistreated by this man who feels that he can do so much better - and I have one comment  for this man -  IT'S UP TO YOU WHO YOU CHOOSE TO INTERACT WITH , IM GOOD , BUT WHAT I AM NOT GOOD WITH IS THE FACT THAT YOU NOT ONLY MOVED ON AND HID IT FROM ME AS IF I WERE A RETARD BUT YOU WERE NOT EVEN HONEST ENOUGH TO ADMIT THAT YOU NEEDED MY FUNDS TO SECURE  A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NEW PERSON - IF YOU HAD TO STEAL LIE AND TRY AND KILL ME JUST SO YOU COULD HAVE A BETTER LIFE PERHAPS YOUR LIFE WASN'T AS GOOD AS YOU HAD MADE IT OUT TO BE , AND PERHAPS ALL OF THE LIES THAT WERE TOLD ABOUT ME NOT BEING WORTH ANYTHING , NEEDS TO BE PUBLICLY CORRECTED TO READ " WITH-OUT THE FUNDS THAT WERE STOLEN FROM MONICA I WOULD NOT BE IN THE TROUBLE THAT I FIND MYSELF IN TODAY "  AND THEN RETURN WHAT WAS TAKEN ASK FOR FORGIVENESS AND MOVE ON!  (And if this is part of a deal that you made to protect someone else - you will be held accountable and found guilty by association - if you choose that route - just know that  I am not willing to over look any of the damages and losses that have come as a result of all of these crimes committed . I am standing firm in my decision to take back my power and to revoke any other POA that was fraudulently allowed so that funds meant to go to me were allowed to go to others and 3rd parties . 

RESPECTFULLY - M- Andres living under duress and in  a hostile living enviroment - where my mail has been blocked or re-routed ? my privacy has been exploited and there is an illegal survielance camera that watches and monitors my every move , done by the same entities who have already gained from me more than they ever desereved - and I am here to get back what was taken !